Yeah, it does, actually. It means thereās a whole lot less wrong with me than you seem to think.
[ He manages another Cheshire grin, but itās a little fainter and itās clear that heās not feeling his best as he inhales sharply, clenching his teeth and wincing through the string of the water on his hand. He avoids looking at the damage, but instead shifts his gaze to Steve, trying to work out if the look on his face means heās angry, worried, or just kind of anxious. It is quite a bit of blood, and Eddie does feel a nagging curl of guilt in his stomach for insisting on dragging him into it.
But he doesnāt say anything. Heās already here, and Steve has already accepted the job, so Eddie waits. Waits for the water to stop, and as he promised, itās not as bad as it looks. When the blood is cleaned away, whatās left is a deep gash across his palmānot deep enough to see through to bone, but deep enough that itās pretty clear why heās had such a hard time stopping the bleeding. ]
How does it look? Is it a hospital job or are we fine with keeping it a Harrington job?
[Which is kind of a weirdly genuine thing to say at a time like this. Especially since there is clearly something very wrong with Eddie since he avoided the hospital and chose to come here instead. If Steve is being honest though, he can't entirely blame him. He also tends to avoid hospitals these days. After spending enough time in a government run one, they aren't really his favorite place.
He sighs, assessing the damage as the water rinses most of the blood away. Now that he's actually seeing it, it's not too bad. Probably could use some stitches, but that's not really his call.]
You're still a dumbass for coming here, but I can wrap it for you. I don't really think we should attach my name to it or anything. It's not going to look pretty.
I came here, sure, but youāre the one who let me come here. So, uhā¦I could be wrong, but I kind of think that makes us both dumbasses.
[ He tilts his head and smiles in a way that could almost be described as mischievous if he werenāt so obviously running low on blood and energy. It doesn't last long. With a deep sigh, he finally gives into his exhaustion and leans back, watching Steve through half-lidded eyes. ]
Seriously, thoughāthanks, man. I appreciate it. I donāt think my uncleās paycheck could handle a hospital visit, so...Iām not gonna critique your work. It doesnāt have to look pretty as long as it does the job.
[Steve tilts his head slightly, agreeing, unfortunately, that they are both probably acting stupid right now. He imagines that if literally anyone else from the Party was here, they would be telling both of them to stop being idiots and go to a hospital.
Lucky for Eddie though, it's just Steve. So he gets to deal with dumb decisions.]
Don't mention it. [After a few more minutes of rinsing Eddie's hand, Steve seems satisfied with it's cleanliness and grabs a hand towel. There is no way the blood won't stain, but he doesn't seem bothered as he wraps it around Eddie's hand. He uses one hand to shut the water off and then presses both against Eddie's wound, as gently as he can while still applying pressure.
He finally gets a good look at Eddie's face, no longer preoccupied with the cleaning. He can't help but notice how pale the man in front of him is.] Uh, you doing okay, man?
[ Maybe thatās partly why he came here. Any of his bandmates would have pushed him to go to the hospital, and there was never any reason to burden any of the kids with this. That left Wayne (not really an option) and Steve. The blood loss might have played a role, but he choice seemed concrete from the beginning.
Sure, heās feeling a little guilty about it now, but heās already here and has already admitted heās a dumbass. ]
Jesus fuckā
[ He hisses between clenched teeth as Steve applies pressure to the wound, and as much as he wants to, he doesnāt try to pull away. Itās a necessary pain. ]
Yeahā¦probably dehydrated or something? But Iām cool, dude. Just slap a bandage on it and Iāll get out of your hair.
[It's not that Steve wants to hurt Eddie, and he's been on the receiving side of this kind of pain far too many times than he'd care to admit. So that might be why, while he still holds pressure to the wound with one hand, his other slides down to grip Eddie's wrist, squeezing for a moment, almost apologetically.
It is necessary, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck.]
Even though we already decided you're an idiot, you're even more of an idiot if you think I'm just going to let you leave looking like that. You can chill on my couch or something.
[Steve shrugs like he didn't just invite Eddie to stay and hang out. Not that it's weird, they are friends, but it's not really something they've done yet. Hang out solo.]
Henderson will kill me if you leave and crash your car because you passed out from blood loss.
[ Steve doesn't have to ask where Eddie's at; he knows he's at the station. It's where they've all been when they haven't been at home, or at the hospital, or doing various recon missions on the military occupation around town. He doesn't think it qualifies as a hangout, exactly, considering the things they actually do there, but it is a central point that they all gravitate towards eventually during the long days. And it's one of the few safe places for Eddie to be without drawing attention to himself.
The glass doors are still swinging shut behind him and he's just spotted Eddie in the middle of the chaos of mismatched furniture in their "war room" before he's speaking. ] What the hell is a side quest, anyway?
[ He doesn't mean for it to come out as annoyed as it sounds. He gets that Eddie left something behind that night in the Upside Down. The same way he'd left a piece of himself in the Byers' living room that night in 1983. He gets it. It's just... ] You know Henderson is going to lose it, right? Like, if you think it's bad now... [He grimaces. He really doesn't want that shitty attitude or tone directed at him. It's painful enough watching him ice out Eddie.
[ When Eddie had come to in that hospital, barely held together with stitches and some frankly fantastic narcotics, it had been with a high ranking government official standing over him. Their interaction was curt and brief, lasting no longer than five minutes in total. Heād been strong-armed into signing a non-disclosure, and then handed an innocent verdict on a silver platter. Just like that. The police didnāt even speak to him. He should have known it was too easy.
It turns out that an innocent verdict doesnāt really mean much if an actual perpetrator hasnāt been brought to justice and half the town is already convinced youāre a murderer. Eddie has never been beloved by Hawkins, but now, the harassment is near dailyāgraffiti on his door, broken windows, dead animals left on his doorstep, threats hurled in the most mundane of places when all heās doing is existing.
Heāll never fully bend to these people, but he's been forced to acknowledge that there arenāt many places where he feels safe anymore. Heāll often spent the night at the station, snatching brief and scattered moments of sleep on the battered couch just to avoid going home, to avoid seeing the way the light leaves his uncleās eyes when collects the bottle of acetone to scrub yet another angry āburn in hellā from the door despite the constant assurance that āitāll stop eventually, Ed.ā
Heās just stirring from on of those stolen moments of sleep when Steve enters, almost immediately hitting him with questions. Eddie sighs and rakes a hand through his hair, peering up at him with those eternally wide, dark eyes as he mumbles in a voice still thick with sleep: ]
You ever stopped to see the worldās biggest ball of twine on a road trip? It's like that. A detour.
[ Heās aware that the Upside Down is very much not as innocuous as the worldās biggest ball of twine, and calling his desire to return to the place he almost called his grave is a little more than a detour. He's aware that his request to return sounds insane, especially when heās still plagued by nightmares of the first visit. He canāt even explain what heās looking for, nor can he voice what heās feeling or why he thinks he needs to make the journey. He just knows that he does, and that he wonāt stop feeling the pull until he goes back.
He sighs again, scrubbing his face in an attempt to wake up just a bit more. ]
Yeah, well, he seems pretty intent on not even acknowledging me these days, soā¦weāll see if he even gives a shit.
[ He knows that Dustin is angry, and understandably so. Eddie had forced him not staying behind, tried to be a hero at both their expenses, then nearly passed away in his arms. A kid shouldnāt have to deal with all of that, and the guilt Eddie feels has been sitting like a stone in the pit of his stomach for the better part of a year. Paying a second visit to the Upside Down isnāt the way to deal with it, but heāll just have to hope that eventually, he can make Dustin understand. ]
Canāt promise it will be, to be totally honest, but, uhā¦thanks for doing this with me, Steve.
[ Steve feels a little guilty at coming in hot when he realizes Eddie was attempting sleep on the couch. He knows he doesn't exactly get a lot of that these days, but Eddie doesn't seem that put out and Steve's guilt gives way to confusion as he furrows his brow. ] Twine?
[ He crosses his arms over his chest.] Yeah, but Eddie, this isn't a roadtrip. This is the Upside Down. Taking a side trip to see the biggest pile of batshit or whatever isn't just reckless, it's dangerous.
[ His expression softens and he sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair.] He gives a shit. That's the problem. You didn't see him falling apart. [ Steve shrugs.] And I don't think he wants you to.
[ He knows in his gut that this is a bad idea. He should've stuck with absolutely not. But he also knows Eddie would find a way to do it on his own. Stubborn bastard. He exhales loudly. He has a promise to keep.] Yeah, yeah. So how exactly are we going to get in there? We can't exactly hop a ride with Hopper on the next crawl.
[ Eddie snorts, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth at the mention of āthe biggest pile of batshitā. He struggles to keep it together on most days, but the fact that his sense of humor is intact is damn near miraculous. Itās clear that he would like to make a quipāsomething like āoh yeah, can we drop by and see that too?ā, but he keeps quiet. He knows that Steve is right. This isnāt a roadtrip, itās not for fun or leisure. Itās dangerous, and he got very lucky to escape with nothing but scars last time. Thereās always a real chance that he wonāt come back to the surface in the end.
And he knows that will destroy Dustin. All he can do is hope that it doesnāt come to that. ]
Then we donāt tell him.
[ Narrowly escaping the cold hands of death comes along with a lot of interesting side effects: nightmares, residual pain, and the worry that you never actually came back at all (which is a huge problem, actually), but his newfound recklessness just may be the strangest side effect of all. The Eddie Munson from a year ago would balk at the things his current self is suggesting, and he canāt even voice why he has so little regard for himself or his own safety these days. Maybe he really has been spending too much time with Nancy. ]
In fact, we donāt actually tell anyone.
[ He forces himself to his feet, eyes wide and serious. Itās a stupid idea, maybe the stupidest heās ever had. It puts everyone, especially Steve, in jeopardy, but itās the best heās managed to cobble together. If Steve tries to tell him no again, tries to revoke the permission given to do this at all, maybe heāll even back down. ]
Not til weāre there. Hopperās not going to let us hitch a ride, right? I meanāyou, maybe? But, uh, no oneās letting me do shit, soā¦
[ He knows there are too many moving parts to the crawls to really sacrifice anyone or anything, but Eddie himself is totally expendable. He hasnāt been granted a role in any of this, no matter how many time heās offered his services. Dustin is always quick to shoot it down or bite his head off whenever he tries to volunteer, and Eddie gets it. Dustin is angry, too angry to even speak to Eddie on most days, but itās obviously a level of protection. The kid cares. Itās the same type of behavior he sees from Mrs. Byers when her youngest son tries to step in. ]
But we could piggyback off of him. He goes through that gate, we follow right behind him.
[ This isn't just a bad idea, it's a terrible idea. If Dustin finds out that Eddie did this behind his back and Steve helped, they'll both be in deep shit. Dustin has joked about being able to make all of Steve's hair fall out, but he wouldn't put it past him either. It's a violation of a trust that Steve holds dear, even if he also logically knows that he can't let his actions be dictated by a sixteen year old.
He raises his eyebrows when Eddie says they don't tell anyone. That idea comes with a lot more risks. If Dustin doesn't murder them, Robin will. Then Nancy, then Hopper, then Mrs. Byers, and so on and so on until there's not even ashes left. He shifts on his feet uncertainly. Eddie's eyes are wide and inviting. He's giving him that look that implies that he's not cool unless he's in on this and despite the fact that Steve knows he hasn't been cool in a long time, he feels compelled by it.
He shuts his eyes dramatically and sighs.] You know that if we survive, they're all going to murder us, right?
Yeah. Yeah, I know, and believe me, Iām really not looking forward to that bit. But, uh, I can tell them it was my idea and that I forced you into it.
[ Truth be told, the outcome of that might be even worse. Putting Steve in danger and placing himself as the lone perpetrator means straining his relationship with some of the only people who are truly on his side. Dustin is bound to grow even more frigid toward him, Robin will absolutely never forgive him, Nancy will follow suit, Hopper will call him an idiot and no one will ever even consider letting him offer his help again.
But he has to do this. He has to, and this is the only plan he has to make it happen. No one is willingly going to let either one of them go down there. He sighs, shoves his hands into his pockets and drifts closer, head tilted and gaze wide and searching, still silently offering Steve one last opportunity to say no. ]
[ Steve tilts his head to the side and studies Eddie for a moment before shaking his head. ] No, come on. I'm not going to throw you under the bus like that. I can make my own decisions, and I'm not about to let you do this on your own. If it's something you have to do, then I trust that it's something you have to do.
[ He pauses. ] Unless you have a secret suicide wish I don't know about? [ If he did, he probably wouldn't have fought as hard as he did to get out of the hospital. Steve sighs and bumps Eddie's shoulder with his. ] We'll deal with the fallout when it comes. We just might want to hide Nancy's shotgun first.
Nah, man, this isnāt about dying. If it was, don't you think I would have tried way harder the first time?
[ He snorts, knowing full well that heās joking about something that shouldnāt be joked about. This is exactly the type of shit that fuels Dustinās angerātreating his own trauma and pain in such a flippant, insincere way, but his jokes are a coping mechanism. Sometimes he thinks itās the only way he stays sane and grounded at all. If he jokes about it, maybe eventually, it will grow a little less terrifying.
He just wishes he knew how to explain what he hopes to get out of going back down there. Ever since he woke up in that hospital, he hasnāt felt right, and it goes deeper than his scars. Sometimes, he doesnāt feel real, and heāll whip himself into a frenzy worrying that he never made it out alive and these past eighteen months have been a figment of his imagination packed into his final moments. Maybe he needs confirmation, needs to know that heās not just a corpse rotting down there in the dark, needs to know that heās still here. ]
Hey--
[ He smiles faintly as Steve bumps his shoulder, then returns the gesture. He would have taken this trip alone in a heartbeat just to avoid placing the burden on anyone else, but the knowledge that he wonāt be alone is a genuine comfort. ]
Scale of one to ten, how far out of my mind do you think I am?
[Steve raises an acknowledging eyebrow. Eddie has a point. Plus, it's not like he's been acting reckless lately. He's actually been keeping his head down for the most part. Something he wishes Dustin would follow, instead of being willing to fight anyone that so much as gives Eddie a dirty look. ]
[ He snorts, taking in the look on Eddie's face before shaking his head one last time. ] Fifteen, easy.
[ He finally uncrosses his arms and lets his shoulders drop. ] The next crawl is Tuesday night. Are you going to be ready by then?
[ He raises his eyebrows and whips his head toward Steve, eyes growing comedically wide. ]
And here I was aiming for twenty.
[ His dramatic expression relaxes as he chuckles softly, and when the jokes fall away, he just looks exhausted, like heās slowing sinking beneath the weight of his decision. Heās not going to back out, but heāll definitely need to use these next few days to hype himself up. ]
Yeah. Iāll be ready. Just donāt back out on me, Harrington.
[ Steve laughs and shakes his head. The theatrics used to make it hard to take Eddie seriously, but then he realized the guy was never serious. ] Well, don't let me stop you. You can probably get to 20 if you try.
[ Steve traces the line of his teeth with his tongue and sighs, shaking his head. ] I won't.
[ By Tuesday he's even more certain that this is a stupid fucking idea, but he can't bring himself to tell Eddie. He'd already promised and the train was in the process of leaving the station, so all that was left was to commit and hope for the best.
The hardest part was coming up with an excuse as to why he couldn't take part in the Crawl. He couldn't think of anything that sounded good and so in the end he'd called Nancy and told her, face burning, that he'd gotten some food poisoning and was living out of his bathroom. She hadn't sounded impressed, but she had moved things around so that Dustin would ride with Jonathan in the WSQK van instead and told him she hoped he felt better soon.
That alone was enough to sour his mood by the time he met up with Eddie at the edge of the MAC-Z in the old Family Video store. He still had a key, mostly because Keith had fled Hawkins one night without a word, leaving both him and Robin unemployed. He dropped the duffel bag he was carrying and wiped his hand along the dusty countertop. It looked like the store had been looted at some point, probably by bored residents with nothing to do but sit at home all night when curfew hit at 8:30pm. He found himself picking up a tape from the return slot box and sticking it in the rewinder out of sheer habit.]
[ At least in one regard, this entire situation has gone smoothy: Eddie doesnāt need an excuse to skip the crawl. Early in the day, heād played along, offered his services as usual to keep up appearances despite knowing heāll alway be denied. And as usual, Dustin had snapped at him and told him to just go home, so thatās exactly what he did. He went home, dozed on the couch for an hour or two, forced himself to eat something, then proceeded to pace anxiously until it was time to meet Steve. Quite the productive afternoon if you ask him.
Itās a stupid plan, he knows that. He knows his desire to just go look around is likely not worth the risks associated with it, but he hasnāt budged and he isnāt having second thoughts. And Steve didnāt back out on him, soā¦
Eddie slips through the doors of the old Family Video only moments after Steve. Without a word, he pulls himself up to sit on the dusty countertop and stares out into the abandoned store, his shoulders tense. For a moment, his chest feels tight, like heās mourning a time totally lost to him now. A time when heād slip in here after Hellfire, rent The Beastmaster for the umpteenth time, return it the next week without rewinding it, and make a smart comment when Steve tried to call him out on it. Simple, easy, totally taken for granted at the time. Canāt go back to that time now, though.
Finally, he peers over his shoulder, a tight smile on his face as he watches Steve pop the tape into the rewinder. ]
Guess someone missed the memo to be kind, rewind before they got the hell out of here, huh?
[ A quip, just to ease the tension before he swallows hard and asks: ]
Yeah. [ Steve scoffs, reaching out to hit the stop button. Who cared if the tape wasn't rewound? They'd literally seen what should've been the beginning of the end of the world and had been holding in this weird limbo ever since. No one gave a shit if Annie had been rewound by the last person to have it.
He turns his head to look back at Eddie and is surprised to find Eddie right there, looking over his shoulder. He had a way of sneaking up on Steve without him realizing it, suddenly being incredibly near with those big brown eyes and that easy grin of his. It could be disorienting, if only because it made something unexpected swoop low in Steve's stomach.
He takes in Eddie's expression, his own solidifying into something concrete as he nods. ] Yeah, man. I'm still with you. [ His eyes dip to Eddie's mouth for a second before he makes himself turn away.] He knows Eddie wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't something he had to do. Sure, he could be loud and impulsive and crazy, but he wasn't stupid. And he definitely wouldn't have let Steve come along if it was all just some elaborate suicide mission.
Still, Steve turns around so that he's facing him fully, putting his hands on his hips and giving him his best impression of a stern look. ] But listen, don't try any of that hero shit on me, okay? If things go south we handle it together, no matter what happens.
[ Truth be told, Eddie wouldnāt dream of anyone else coming along with him. He doesnāt even know where heād begin to explain his desire to return to the place that nearly killed him to someone else. But Steve just seems to get it, regardless of Eddie's ability to explain or not. He may not like it, but he gets it.
Eddie seems calm enough, but there are telltale signs that his stomach is in knots and heās absolutely terrified. His spine remains stick straight and shoulders tense, and his fingers tap out a nonstop rhythm against the countertop as he gazes back at Steve with eyes so wide, they couldnāt hide a thing if he tried. Heās scared, but heās still not backing down. ]
Yeah, alright. No hero shit. But, uh, same goes for you, Steve.
[ Eddie tried so hard to play the hero and, along with a healthy dose of residual guilt for breaking his promise to Steve that he wouldnāt, nearly bled out in an alternate dimension for his trouble. That was one time, and heās seen the way Steve steps in every goddamn time without fear or concern for himself. Heās gotten lucky so far, walking away with nothing but scars, but Eddie doesnāt want the next time to be the one that kills him, and he doesnāt want to be the person Steve takes that fall for.
So, unaffected by that stern look, he extends a hand, smiling softly as those wide brown eyes implore Steve to shake on it. ]
[ Steve huffs, breaking eye contact and shaking his head. He knows he's just as guilty of wanting to play hero, especially if it means keeping the other safe. Robin's called him out on it enough times that he's very aware it's a character flaw. That doesn't mean it also can't make sense. His skills are limited, mainly to the physical, and he's willing to play to his strengths when he needs to.
He knows that if it comes down to it, he'll do whatever he needs to in order to get Eddie out of there alive, but he still doesn't hesitate to nod and reach out for Eddie's hand. ] Yeah, yeah. Deal.
[ Eddie's hand is warm and he can feel the calluses from his guitar playing on is fingers. He gets lost in his earnest eyes for a moment before Steve remembers to let go and immediately turns to unzip the duffel bag. ] Okay, lets talk weapons. I couldn't exactly get a trash can shield down here, but... [ He pulls out an axe.] I've got this or the spiked bat.
[ He almost gets stuck in that moment, hand in hand, gazing into Steveās eyes. For the briefest microsecond, he toys with the idea that maybe just maybe, he could find all his answers there and skip this mission entirely, but Steve drops his hand and steps away and Eddie quickly comes to his senses.
He scrubs his face with his hands to urge himself back to reality, then slips off the counter to peer into the duffle bag. ]
Decisions, decisions.
[ He reaches down to pluck the axe from Steve and gives it a swing to test the balance and weight. Eddieās level of physicality isnāt exactly as reliable as Steve's. Heās light and quick, but heās also not terribly skilled when it comes to weaponry of any sort. The axe is heavier and more awkward to wield than his homemade spear and shield were, but it will do the job. It has to do the job. ]
Not exactly the type of axe Iām used to, but itāll do. Anything else in that magic bag of yours?
[ There's a part of Steve that's a little relieved he'll be swinging the bat again. It's weight and presence has become something of a comfort, weirdly, through all of this. A constant reminder that he's capable of fighting back and not quite as helpless as he feels most of the time. He nods at Eddie's decision and then opens the bag a little wider for him to see the other supplies.
Some food stuff, a few knives, the materials for a few Molotov cocktails, some heavy-duty flashlights and Steve's radio. It's light on weapons, which he's acutely aware of. I was going to try to grab some guns, but you know how Nancy is with the ammunition. She would've said something.
[ He gives Eddie an apologetic look. There's also the fact that they're both lousy shots, but that's not important when you're headed into the Upside Down. He reaches up and pushes his hair out of his face. ] Did you tell Wayne?
Oh, yeah. One bullet out of place and sheād be down here in about ten seconds flat. I get it, man.
[ He snorts as he digs through the bag, trying to parse what might be missing. Weaponry, obviously, but thereās only so much that can be done there. Eddie isnāt confident that he wouldnāt put a bullet through Steve on accident with a gun in his shaking hands anyway, so this is probably better.
Then Steve asks about Wayne, andā¦Eddie isnāt a very good liar. The long stretch of silence and the way his shoulders tense and he avoids eye contact all speak volumes, and his short response says even more: ]
I left a note.
[ He hates how much of a burden heās become to his uncle. He hates that he canāt do anything about it when he canāt even leave townāor even exist in town without someone hurling abuse at him for a crime that he should be free of. He knows itās not right to keep Wayne in the dark, but he doesnāt want to add another weight of worry to the old manās shoulders, so his note was short, sweet, and contained absolutely no information whatsoever: With Steve. Be back later. With any luck, the fact heās with a friend will soothe any immediate concerns and the second part wonāt be a lie. ]
We could use a rope. An extension chord will do the job, though, soā
[ As if to avoid discussing the manner in which he let his uncle in on this entire thing, he suddenly walks away from the conversation entirely, slipping into the back room without a word. The whole store has basically been gutted of anything worthwhile, but he still returns to Steve a few minutes later, winding an orange extension chord around his arm. ]
[ Steve winces when Eddie says he left a note. If things do go wrong, that's going to be something that he's going to regret, but they're already here and they both know if he tried explaining anything to Wayne he'd stop them, or worse, try to join them. Besides, it's not like he left his parents anything at all.
Eddie is moving away before Steve can ask him anything else about it, though, and Steve lets him go. He nods when he returns. ] Yeah, good idea.
[ He takes a deep breath and shrugs.] All right, lets do this.
[ The plan goes off almost too easy, which really should've been a sign that they were screwed, but it seems that Steve still hasn't learned his lesson about his luck yet. They manage to hop onto the second truck in the convoy, after watching Hopper sneak into the first. He just hopes Mike and Lucas weren't watching the second truck from the clock tower as they pull through the gate to the Upside Down. They'd be able to know for sure if they could switch on the radio, but he doesn't want to take the risk of the driver hearing anything.
He can almost feel the air thicken as they pass through the gate, the cool November air dropping to something several degrees cooler. He nudges Eddie, his voice barely a whisper.] We've got to jump early or Hopper might see us. Aim for the grass, tuck and roll. [The driver slams on the brakes and the truck lurches, sending Steve stumbling into the wall and then stumbling into Eddie. He reaches out and grips his shirt with both hands, trying to stay upright, his eyes wide.
[ Eddie knows he could have done better. He knows his uncle deserves so much more than a vague note, more than non-explanations, and more than a nephew whoās always sneaking around, but all he can do is hope that he and Steve come back from this and he can finally begin to do better. For now, heās just glad that Steve doesnāt try to draw him back to the topic to chide him, but merely lets it go.
When the first step of their plan goes off without a hitch, Eddie is immediately suspicious. His stock of good luck has always been in short supply, like the batch allotted to him at birth was spoiled. The truck rolls smoothly along for a time, and Eddie bites his nails, his stomach in knots and his heart in his throat as he waits for the other shoe to drop. Thatās exactly seems to happen when the true comes to an unexpected and rocky stop. ]
Shit, shit, shitā
[ Eddie hisses under his breath as the two of them careen into one another. Steveās hands gripping his shirt, Eddie scrambles for purchase, struggling to keep the two of them upright, but he only stumble back against the wall, pulling Steve with him. And sure, maybe heās had a particularly good dream or two that began something like this, with the two of them pressed into impossibly close quarters for one reason or another, but those had been nice scenarios. This scenario leaves Eddie horror-stricken, unsure of what to do next. Do they hide? Look innocent and come up with their best excuse when the back of that truck opens? Bolt?
Eyes wide, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, he stays put, not wanting to call even more attention to the back of the truck. He whispers: ]
I don't think so. [ His mouth is suddenly bone dry and he flinches at the sound of shouting and gunfire. Hopper. Was that Hopper? Steve's heart jumps into his throat, choking him.
Then he hears it. A screeching kind of chittering followed by screaming, and all the color drains from Steve's face. He bunches his fist into Eddie's shirt and yanks him down behind the crates, already reaching for the bag.] Fuck. [ His voice cracks on the word.] It's a demogorgon.
[ He should've grabbed the fucking guns. What the hell had he been thinking? Nancy might have caught on and been pissed, but she wouldn't have wanted them out here against a demogorgon with an axe and a spiked bat. ] Grab the axe! [He's reaching for one of the bottles with one hand and digging into his pocket for the lighter with the other when the truck suddenly roars to life and then shifts into reverse, sending him crashing back into the side of the truck again.
Good, at least their driver had some kind of sense. The right wheel shifts, and they spin around, speeding back towards the gate. The relief only lasts a minute, though, because there's the sound of another screech and the sound of something huge hitting the side of the truck, it's claws scraping against the metal.
Steve is scrambling to try to find the lighter that he dropped, already smelling gasoline from the smashed molotov soaking into his jeans when he hears the door being ripped off and the scream of the driver abruptly cut off and then fade away.[ Shit, shit, shit! [The lighter's gone. He grabs Eddie's arm instead, pulling him to the opening of the truck bed.] We have to get out of here. Run!Now.
@charmingdingus
[ He manages another Cheshire grin, but itās a little fainter and itās clear that heās not feeling his best as he inhales sharply, clenching his teeth and wincing through the string of the water on his hand. He avoids looking at the damage, but instead shifts his gaze to Steve, trying to work out if the look on his face means heās angry, worried, or just kind of anxious. It is quite a bit of blood, and Eddie does feel a nagging curl of guilt in his stomach for insisting on dragging him into it.
But he doesnāt say anything. Heās already here, and Steve has already accepted the job, so Eddie waits. Waits for the water to stop, and as he promised, itās not as bad as it looks. When the blood is cleaned away, whatās left is a deep gash across his palmānot deep enough to see through to bone, but deep enough that itās pretty clear why heās had such a hard time stopping the bleeding. ]
How does it look? Is it a hospital job or are we fine with keeping it a Harrington job?
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[Which is kind of a weirdly genuine thing to say at a time like this. Especially since there is clearly something very wrong with Eddie since he avoided the hospital and chose to come here instead. If Steve is being honest though, he can't entirely blame him. He also tends to avoid hospitals these days. After spending enough time in a government run one, they aren't really his favorite place.
He sighs, assessing the damage as the water rinses most of the blood away. Now that he's actually seeing it, it's not too bad. Probably could use some stitches, but that's not really his call.]
You're still a dumbass for coming here, but I can wrap it for you. I don't really think we should attach my name to it or anything. It's not going to look pretty.
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[ He tilts his head and smiles in a way that could almost be described as mischievous if he werenāt so obviously running low on blood and energy. It doesn't last long. With a deep sigh, he finally gives into his exhaustion and leans back, watching Steve through half-lidded eyes. ]
Seriously, thoughāthanks, man. I appreciate it. I donāt think my uncleās paycheck could handle a hospital visit, so...Iām not gonna critique your work. It doesnāt have to look pretty as long as it does the job.
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[Steve tilts his head slightly, agreeing, unfortunately, that they are both probably acting stupid right now. He imagines that if literally anyone else from the Party was here, they would be telling both of them to stop being idiots and go to a hospital.
Lucky for Eddie though, it's just Steve. So he gets to deal with dumb decisions.]
Don't mention it. [After a few more minutes of rinsing Eddie's hand, Steve seems satisfied with it's cleanliness and grabs a hand towel. There is no way the blood won't stain, but he doesn't seem bothered as he wraps it around Eddie's hand. He uses one hand to shut the water off and then presses both against Eddie's wound, as gently as he can while still applying pressure.
He finally gets a good look at Eddie's face, no longer preoccupied with the cleaning. He can't help but notice how pale the man in front of him is.] Uh, you doing okay, man?
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Sure, heās feeling a little guilty about it now, but heās already here and has already admitted heās a dumbass. ]
Jesus fuckā
[ He hisses between clenched teeth as Steve applies pressure to the wound, and as much as he wants to, he doesnāt try to pull away. Itās a necessary pain. ]
Yeahā¦probably dehydrated or something? But Iām cool, dude. Just slap a bandage on it and Iāll get out of your hair.
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It is necessary, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck.]
Even though we already decided you're an idiot, you're even more of an idiot if you think I'm just going to let you leave looking like that. You can chill on my couch or something.
[Steve shrugs like he didn't just invite Eddie to stay and hang out. Not that it's weird, they are friends, but it's not really something they've done yet. Hang out solo.]
Henderson will kill me if you leave and crash your car because you passed out from blood loss.
Season 5 Spoilers/AU
The glass doors are still swinging shut behind him and he's just spotted Eddie in the middle of the chaos of mismatched furniture in their "war room" before he's speaking. ] What the hell is a side quest, anyway?
[ He doesn't mean for it to come out as annoyed as it sounds. He gets that Eddie left something behind that night in the Upside Down. The same way he'd left a piece of himself in the Byers' living room that night in 1983. He gets it. It's just... ] You know Henderson is going to lose it, right? Like, if you think it's bad now... [He grimaces. He really doesn't want that shitty attitude or tone directed at him. It's painful enough watching him ice out Eddie.
He sighs.] It better be worth it.
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It turns out that an innocent verdict doesnāt really mean much if an actual perpetrator hasnāt been brought to justice and half the town is already convinced youāre a murderer. Eddie has never been beloved by Hawkins, but now, the harassment is near dailyāgraffiti on his door, broken windows, dead animals left on his doorstep, threats hurled in the most mundane of places when all heās doing is existing.
Heāll never fully bend to these people, but he's been forced to acknowledge that there arenāt many places where he feels safe anymore. Heāll often spent the night at the station, snatching brief and scattered moments of sleep on the battered couch just to avoid going home, to avoid seeing the way the light leaves his uncleās eyes when collects the bottle of acetone to scrub yet another angry āburn in hellā from the door despite the constant assurance that āitāll stop eventually, Ed.ā
Heās just stirring from on of those stolen moments of sleep when Steve enters, almost immediately hitting him with questions. Eddie sighs and rakes a hand through his hair, peering up at him with those eternally wide, dark eyes as he mumbles in a voice still thick with sleep: ]
You ever stopped to see the worldās biggest ball of twine on a road trip? It's like that. A detour.
[ Heās aware that the Upside Down is very much not as innocuous as the worldās biggest ball of twine, and calling his desire to return to the place he almost called his grave is a little more than a detour. He's aware that his request to return sounds insane, especially when heās still plagued by nightmares of the first visit. He canāt even explain what heās looking for, nor can he voice what heās feeling or why he thinks he needs to make the journey. He just knows that he does, and that he wonāt stop feeling the pull until he goes back.
He sighs again, scrubbing his face in an attempt to wake up just a bit more. ]
Yeah, well, he seems pretty intent on not even acknowledging me these days, soā¦weāll see if he even gives a shit.
[ He knows that Dustin is angry, and understandably so. Eddie had forced him not staying behind, tried to be a hero at both their expenses, then nearly passed away in his arms. A kid shouldnāt have to deal with all of that, and the guilt Eddie feels has been sitting like a stone in the pit of his stomach for the better part of a year. Paying a second visit to the Upside Down isnāt the way to deal with it, but heāll just have to hope that eventually, he can make Dustin understand. ]
Canāt promise it will be, to be totally honest, but, uhā¦thanks for doing this with me, Steve.
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[ He crosses his arms over his chest.] Yeah, but Eddie, this isn't a roadtrip. This is the Upside Down. Taking a side trip to see the biggest pile of batshit or whatever isn't just reckless, it's dangerous.
[ His expression softens and he sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair.] He gives a shit. That's the problem. You didn't see him falling apart. [ Steve shrugs.] And I don't think he wants you to.
[ He knows in his gut that this is a bad idea. He should've stuck with absolutely not. But he also knows Eddie would find a way to do it on his own. Stubborn bastard. He exhales loudly. He has a promise to keep.] Yeah, yeah. So how exactly are we going to get in there? We can't exactly hop a ride with Hopper on the next crawl.
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And he knows that will destroy Dustin. All he can do is hope that it doesnāt come to that. ]
Then we donāt tell him.
[ Narrowly escaping the cold hands of death comes along with a lot of interesting side effects: nightmares, residual pain, and the worry that you never actually came back at all (which is a huge problem, actually), but his newfound recklessness just may be the strangest side effect of all. The Eddie Munson from a year ago would balk at the things his current self is suggesting, and he canāt even voice why he has so little regard for himself or his own safety these days. Maybe he really has been spending too much time with Nancy. ]
In fact, we donāt actually tell anyone.
[ He forces himself to his feet, eyes wide and serious. Itās a stupid idea, maybe the stupidest heās ever had. It puts everyone, especially Steve, in jeopardy, but itās the best heās managed to cobble together. If Steve tries to tell him no again, tries to revoke the permission given to do this at all, maybe heāll even back down. ]
Not til weāre there. Hopperās not going to let us hitch a ride, right? I meanāyou, maybe? But, uh, no oneās letting me do shit, soā¦
[ He knows there are too many moving parts to the crawls to really sacrifice anyone or anything, but Eddie himself is totally expendable. He hasnāt been granted a role in any of this, no matter how many time heās offered his services. Dustin is always quick to shoot it down or bite his head off whenever he tries to volunteer, and Eddie gets it. Dustin is angry, too angry to even speak to Eddie on most days, but itās obviously a level of protection. The kid cares. Itās the same type of behavior he sees from Mrs. Byers when her youngest son tries to step in. ]
But we could piggyback off of him. He goes through that gate, we follow right behind him.
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He raises his eyebrows when Eddie says they don't tell anyone. That idea comes with a lot more risks. If Dustin doesn't murder them, Robin will. Then Nancy, then Hopper, then Mrs. Byers, and so on and so on until there's not even ashes left. He shifts on his feet uncertainly. Eddie's eyes are wide and inviting. He's giving him that look that implies that he's not cool unless he's in on this and despite the fact that Steve knows he hasn't been cool in a long time, he feels compelled by it.
He shuts his eyes dramatically and sighs.] You know that if we survive, they're all going to murder us, right?
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[ Truth be told, the outcome of that might be even worse. Putting Steve in danger and placing himself as the lone perpetrator means straining his relationship with some of the only people who are truly on his side. Dustin is bound to grow even more frigid toward him, Robin will absolutely never forgive him, Nancy will follow suit, Hopper will call him an idiot and no one will ever even consider letting him offer his help again.
But he has to do this. He has to, and this is the only plan he has to make it happen. No one is willingly going to let either one of them go down there. He sighs, shoves his hands into his pockets and drifts closer, head tilted and gaze wide and searching, still silently offering Steve one last opportunity to say no. ]
Wouldnāt be a lie, Steve.
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[ He pauses. ] Unless you have a secret suicide wish I don't know about? [ If he did, he probably wouldn't have fought as hard as he did to get out of the hospital. Steve sighs and bumps Eddie's shoulder with his. ] We'll deal with the fallout when it comes. We just might want to hide Nancy's shotgun first.
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[ He snorts, knowing full well that heās joking about something that shouldnāt be joked about. This is exactly the type of shit that fuels Dustinās angerātreating his own trauma and pain in such a flippant, insincere way, but his jokes are a coping mechanism. Sometimes he thinks itās the only way he stays sane and grounded at all. If he jokes about it, maybe eventually, it will grow a little less terrifying.
He just wishes he knew how to explain what he hopes to get out of going back down there. Ever since he woke up in that hospital, he hasnāt felt right, and it goes deeper than his scars. Sometimes, he doesnāt feel real, and heāll whip himself into a frenzy worrying that he never made it out alive and these past eighteen months have been a figment of his imagination packed into his final moments. Maybe he needs confirmation, needs to know that heās not just a corpse rotting down there in the dark, needs to know that heās still here. ]
Hey--
[ He smiles faintly as Steve bumps his shoulder, then returns the gesture. He would have taken this trip alone in a heartbeat just to avoid placing the burden on anyone else, but the knowledge that he wonāt be alone is a genuine comfort. ]
Scale of one to ten, how far out of my mind do you think I am?
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[ He snorts, taking in the look on Eddie's face before shaking his head one last time. ] Fifteen, easy.
[ He finally uncrosses his arms and lets his shoulders drop. ] The next crawl is Tuesday night. Are you going to be ready by then?
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[ He raises his eyebrows and whips his head toward Steve, eyes growing comedically wide. ]
And here I was aiming for twenty.
[ His dramatic expression relaxes as he chuckles softly, and when the jokes fall away, he just looks exhausted, like heās slowing sinking beneath the weight of his decision. Heās not going to back out, but heāll definitely need to use these next few days to hype himself up. ]
Yeah. Iāll be ready. Just donāt back out on me, Harrington.
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[ Steve traces the line of his teeth with his tongue and sighs, shaking his head. ] I won't.
[ By Tuesday he's even more certain that this is a stupid fucking idea, but he can't bring himself to tell Eddie. He'd already promised and the train was in the process of leaving the station, so all that was left was to commit and hope for the best.
The hardest part was coming up with an excuse as to why he couldn't take part in the Crawl. He couldn't think of anything that sounded good and so in the end he'd called Nancy and told her, face burning, that he'd gotten some food poisoning and was living out of his bathroom. She hadn't sounded impressed, but she had moved things around so that Dustin would ride with Jonathan in the WSQK van instead and told him she hoped he felt better soon.
That alone was enough to sour his mood by the time he met up with Eddie at the edge of the MAC-Z in the old Family Video store. He still had a key, mostly because Keith had fled Hawkins one night without a word, leaving both him and Robin unemployed. He dropped the duffel bag he was carrying and wiped his hand along the dusty countertop. It looked like the store had been looted at some point, probably by bored residents with nothing to do but sit at home all night when curfew hit at 8:30pm. He found himself picking up a tape from the return slot box and sticking it in the rewinder out of sheer habit.]
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Itās a stupid plan, he knows that. He knows his desire to just go look around is likely not worth the risks associated with it, but he hasnāt budged and he isnāt having second thoughts. And Steve didnāt back out on him, soā¦
Eddie slips through the doors of the old Family Video only moments after Steve. Without a word, he pulls himself up to sit on the dusty countertop and stares out into the abandoned store, his shoulders tense. For a moment, his chest feels tight, like heās mourning a time totally lost to him now. A time when heād slip in here after Hellfire, rent The Beastmaster for the umpteenth time, return it the next week without rewinding it, and make a smart comment when Steve tried to call him out on it. Simple, easy, totally taken for granted at the time. Canāt go back to that time now, though.
Finally, he peers over his shoulder, a tight smile on his face as he watches Steve pop the tape into the rewinder. ]
Guess someone missed the memo to be kind, rewind before they got the hell out of here, huh?
[ A quip, just to ease the tension before he swallows hard and asks: ]
You still with me?
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He turns his head to look back at Eddie and is surprised to find Eddie right there, looking over his shoulder. He had a way of sneaking up on Steve without him realizing it, suddenly being incredibly near with those big brown eyes and that easy grin of his. It could be disorienting, if only because it made something unexpected swoop low in Steve's stomach.
He takes in Eddie's expression, his own solidifying into something concrete as he nods. ] Yeah, man. I'm still with you. [ His eyes dip to Eddie's mouth for a second before he makes himself turn away.] He knows Eddie wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't something he had to do. Sure, he could be loud and impulsive and crazy, but he wasn't stupid. And he definitely wouldn't have let Steve come along if it was all just some elaborate suicide mission.
Still, Steve turns around so that he's facing him fully, putting his hands on his hips and giving him his best impression of a stern look. ] But listen, don't try any of that hero shit on me, okay? If things go south we handle it together, no matter what happens.
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Eddie seems calm enough, but there are telltale signs that his stomach is in knots and heās absolutely terrified. His spine remains stick straight and shoulders tense, and his fingers tap out a nonstop rhythm against the countertop as he gazes back at Steve with eyes so wide, they couldnāt hide a thing if he tried. Heās scared, but heās still not backing down. ]
Yeah, alright. No hero shit. But, uh, same goes for you, Steve.
[ Eddie tried so hard to play the hero and, along with a healthy dose of residual guilt for breaking his promise to Steve that he wouldnāt, nearly bled out in an alternate dimension for his trouble. That was one time, and heās seen the way Steve steps in every goddamn time without fear or concern for himself. Heās gotten lucky so far, walking away with nothing but scars, but Eddie doesnāt want the next time to be the one that kills him, and he doesnāt want to be the person Steve takes that fall for.
So, unaffected by that stern look, he extends a hand, smiling softly as those wide brown eyes implore Steve to shake on it. ]
We do this totally together or not at all. Deal?
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He knows that if it comes down to it, he'll do whatever he needs to in order to get Eddie out of there alive, but he still doesn't hesitate to nod and reach out for Eddie's hand. ] Yeah, yeah. Deal.
[ Eddie's hand is warm and he can feel the calluses from his guitar playing on is fingers. He gets lost in his earnest eyes for a moment before Steve remembers to let go and immediately turns to unzip the duffel bag. ] Okay, lets talk weapons. I couldn't exactly get a trash can shield down here, but... [ He pulls out an axe.] I've got this or the spiked bat.
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He scrubs his face with his hands to urge himself back to reality, then slips off the counter to peer into the duffle bag. ]
Decisions, decisions.
[ He reaches down to pluck the axe from Steve and gives it a swing to test the balance and weight. Eddieās level of physicality isnāt exactly as reliable as Steve's. Heās light and quick, but heās also not terribly skilled when it comes to weaponry of any sort. The axe is heavier and more awkward to wield than his homemade spear and shield were, but it will do the job. It has to do the job. ]
Not exactly the type of axe Iām used to, but itāll do. Anything else in that magic bag of yours?
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Some food stuff, a few knives, the materials for a few Molotov cocktails, some heavy-duty flashlights and Steve's radio. It's light on weapons, which he's acutely aware of. I was going to try to grab some guns, but you know how Nancy is with the ammunition. She would've said something.
[ He gives Eddie an apologetic look. There's also the fact that they're both lousy shots, but that's not important when you're headed into the Upside Down. He reaches up and pushes his hair out of his face. ] Did you tell Wayne?
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[ He snorts as he digs through the bag, trying to parse what might be missing. Weaponry, obviously, but thereās only so much that can be done there. Eddie isnāt confident that he wouldnāt put a bullet through Steve on accident with a gun in his shaking hands anyway, so this is probably better.
Then Steve asks about Wayne, andā¦Eddie isnāt a very good liar. The long stretch of silence and the way his shoulders tense and he avoids eye contact all speak volumes, and his short response says even more: ]
I left a note.
[ He hates how much of a burden heās become to his uncle. He hates that he canāt do anything about it when he canāt even leave townāor even exist in town without someone hurling abuse at him for a crime that he should be free of. He knows itās not right to keep Wayne in the dark, but he doesnāt want to add another weight of worry to the old manās shoulders, so his note was short, sweet, and contained absolutely no information whatsoever: With Steve. Be back later. With any luck, the fact heās with a friend will soothe any immediate concerns and the second part wonāt be a lie. ]
We could use a rope. An extension chord will do the job, though, soā
[ As if to avoid discussing the manner in which he let his uncle in on this entire thing, he suddenly walks away from the conversation entirely, slipping into the back room without a word. The whole store has basically been gutted of anything worthwhile, but he still returns to Steve a few minutes later, winding an orange extension chord around his arm. ]
Check.
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Eddie is moving away before Steve can ask him anything else about it, though, and Steve lets him go. He nods when he returns. ] Yeah, good idea.
[ He takes a deep breath and shrugs.] All right, lets do this.
[ The plan goes off almost too easy, which really should've been a sign that they were screwed, but it seems that Steve still hasn't learned his lesson about his luck yet. They manage to hop onto the second truck in the convoy, after watching Hopper sneak into the first. He just hopes Mike and Lucas weren't watching the second truck from the clock tower as they pull through the gate to the Upside Down. They'd be able to know for sure if they could switch on the radio, but he doesn't want to take the risk of the driver hearing anything.
He can almost feel the air thicken as they pass through the gate, the cool November air dropping to something several degrees cooler. He nudges Eddie, his voice barely a whisper.] We've got to jump early or Hopper might see us. Aim for the grass, tuck and roll. [The driver slams on the brakes and the truck lurches, sending Steve stumbling into the wall and then stumbling into Eddie. He reaches out and grips his shirt with both hands, trying to stay upright, his eyes wide.
Shit.]
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When the first step of their plan goes off without a hitch, Eddie is immediately suspicious. His stock of good luck has always been in short supply, like the batch allotted to him at birth was spoiled. The truck rolls smoothly along for a time, and Eddie bites his nails, his stomach in knots and his heart in his throat as he waits for the other shoe to drop. Thatās exactly seems to happen when the true comes to an unexpected and rocky stop. ]
Shit, shit, shitā
[ Eddie hisses under his breath as the two of them careen into one another. Steveās hands gripping his shirt, Eddie scrambles for purchase, struggling to keep the two of them upright, but he only stumble back against the wall, pulling Steve with him. And sure, maybe heās had a particularly good dream or two that began something like this, with the two of them pressed into impossibly close quarters for one reason or another, but those had been nice scenarios. This scenario leaves Eddie horror-stricken, unsure of what to do next. Do they hide? Look innocent and come up with their best excuse when the back of that truck opens? Bolt?
Eyes wide, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, he stays put, not wanting to call even more attention to the back of the truck. He whispers: ]
Thatāsā¦not our cue, is it?
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Then he hears it. A screeching kind of chittering followed by screaming, and all the color drains from Steve's face. He bunches his fist into Eddie's shirt and yanks him down behind the crates, already reaching for the bag.] Fuck. [ His voice cracks on the word.] It's a demogorgon.
[ He should've grabbed the fucking guns. What the hell had he been thinking? Nancy might have caught on and been pissed, but she wouldn't have wanted them out here against a demogorgon with an axe and a spiked bat. ] Grab the axe! [He's reaching for one of the bottles with one hand and digging into his pocket for the lighter with the other when the truck suddenly roars to life and then shifts into reverse, sending him crashing back into the side of the truck again.
Good, at least their driver had some kind of sense. The right wheel shifts, and they spin around, speeding back towards the gate. The relief only lasts a minute, though, because there's the sound of another screech and the sound of something huge hitting the side of the truck, it's claws scraping against the metal.
Steve is scrambling to try to find the lighter that he dropped, already smelling gasoline from the smashed molotov soaking into his jeans when he hears the door being ripped off and the scream of the driver abruptly cut off and then fade away.[ Shit, shit, shit! [The lighter's gone. He grabs Eddie's arm instead, pulling him to the opening of the truck bed.] We have to get out of here. Run!Now.